Keep Trying

Owner David Hachmeister

By David Hachmeister, Owner, Care & Comfort at Home


I recently talked to a man who was very concerned about his mother’s situation. I could hear the heartbreak and frustration in his voice. She was in failing health and was living in her house with another son who had a major alcohol issue. She was dependent on this son for her care.

We see many of these very awkward and sometimes dangerous situations more often than we would like. The difficulty is the same: No matter how much we love and want to care for someone, if they are deemed mentally competent, there is little beyond persuasion we can use to affect a change for the better.

As an Adlerian psychologist might say about the mother-son relationship, “On some level, it works for both of them.” For those of us who want to help, it requires great restraint on our part to stop at suggestions of a better course.

Sometimes we can help. If we can visit with the family, we are sometimes able to move forward with a better course of action. Sometimes hearing suggestions from an outsider can make all the difference. The gentle art of persuasion requires knowing when to press and when pressing will only exacerbate the situation.

Don’t despair if what you are trying isn’t working. Maybe a voice from a different direction may be heard as a more pleasing tune.

We can provide such a voice, via our free, no-obligation consultation. To learn more, please contact us! In the Chicago area, call 630-333-9262. In the Denver area, call 720-492-0080. Or, just CLICK HERE to contact us via our website today!